what are YOU doing THERE?
by badboyblues
Summary: In which two VERY confused boys wake up, stark naked, in Santanas house after a supposed ' party '.
1. A duvet, a duck and Kurt

**Quick klaine fanfic that's been in my head for a while! xD **

**could turn out to be more than a one-shot but mergh, let's see your reaction first! k? **

**enjoy! xx**

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_Too. Fuckin'. Bright._

_I mean like, seriously? Is someone shining a light in my face or something?_

Groaning, Kurt toppled out of bed - legs splayed, arms flailing and another groan as his head hit the cold hard ground. Hands flying instinctively to nurse the sore spot, it took him a moment. And only a moment. To realise that he was completely and utterly naked. Like, naked naked. If anyone had been around Kurt Hummel for long, you'd know that he didn't wake up without at least three layers on. So to be completely naked, in a strange room with rumpled sheets, a light sheen of sweat across his pale body and a loud click in the background - it was safe to say he was utterly bewildered.

Drawing the duvets in around him, he gathered them up and spun round wildly. What the hell was going on? Why the heck was he naked? What had happened? A sharp ringing noise at the front of his head powered him to do something. God, maybe some water could help. Stumbling blindly to the kitchen, he moved to the tap and drank straight from the faucet not even caring for the cotton socks taste he could feel in his mouth. Smacking his lips together like a cat, he slumped back against the island counter and groaned again.

Something vibrated from within the duvet, followed by Kurt quickly flinging it off in shock. What the fuck was that? Steadying his breathing, he tentatively peeled off the duvet and saw it was his phone. Playing. . . what? Blaines ringtone? What time was it anyway? Why was he calling so early? Fumbling blindly with the phone that had been tumbled along with various pieces of clothing also wrapped in the duvet, another thing that worried him, he grunted into the phone in a way of greeting.

" Kurt? I-is that you? " Hysterical Blaine, whilst incredibly adorable, woke Kurt up a little bit more. Though he did yawn a little.

" Yup. It's me. Hey - where are you? "

" I left after the party, " Ah yes. The party. Of course. Santanas house. Blaines first time there. " A-and then I woke up in a bathroom? I-I have no idea what the hell I'm doing! And Kurt, this is going to sound wierd but. . . I think I slept with someone last night. "

That shocked Kurt awake entirely.

" W-what? Why? How? What happened? "

" Well. . . I woke up naked. " That awkward chuckle made by his best friend just made Kurt panic more.

" Alright alright. Do you know where you are at the moment? "

" Bathroom. "

" More specific than that Blaine! " Snapped Kurt angrily, pressing against his temples and smoothing them down.

" Nope, I just know it's a bathroom. Something pink in h - oh god! Tampons! " An adorable squeal followed, echoed by the sound of a box being thrown.

Rolling his eyes, Kurt stiffly tried to get up with very little success. " Ok, give me a minute. I'll just go to the bathroom and call you back. "

" Ok. "

Hanging up, Kurt grunted and rubbed his sore tired eyes. Why so early? Couldn't he have waited a little? Pulling on some sweatpants that didn't seem to be his, he tripped over some shoes in the hall and steadied himself just in time. Crawling up the stairs like a drunk lion, he crashed into the door and stepped on a duck of some sort. It had squeaked loudly, followed by a whimper so Kurt had assume - woah woah woah. Hold up. Whimper? Ducks don't whimper Kurt.

Slowly and carefully, Kurt looked down with narrowed eyes only for them to widen again when he saw an equally shocked face staring up at him.

" KURT? "

" BLAINE? "


	2. Bathroom, tampons and Blaine

**Thanks so much for all the responses guys! You too invisible readers - i see youu! xD**

**without much ado, heres part 2!**

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What the actual fuck.

There Blaine had been, feeling sick to the stomach with alcohol whilst thinking about Kurt - no! Not in that way you dirty minded people! - and hoping he'd hurry the hell up and get here and get him some aspirin perhaps. Perhaps his wishes had been too loud because there in the next moment swayed Kurt, looking like the ice queen wrapped up in a duvet. Admittedly a _very hungover_ ice queen. It would have been funny if he hadn't kicked Blaine in the stomach.

" KURT! "

" BLAINE! "

They took a moment, taking in each others appearances. Blaine noticing the slight sheen on Kurts brow, a peek of bare skin underneath the duvet along with some clothes that looked . . . dstressed and not all of them his. Kurt taking in how he'd kicked Blaine in the stomach and wondering _what on earth_ his best friend was doing curled up in Santanas bathroom with tampons in his ears.

" Kurt. "

" Blaine. "

Both of them were wary this time, both wondering what the other was doing there. Confused and slightly shocked, Kurt crouched down and had to steady himself from the sweat sticky floor that Blaine was sitting on.

" What are you doing here Blaine? " He asked, taking in how his friend looked ready to just die and evaporate on the spot. Honestly, Kurt felt the same way.

" What? " Questioned the boy, eyebrows drawing together as he stared at Kurt in distress.

" What are you doing here? " Kurt repeated, slower this time. Poor Blainey. Ears probably blocked with cotton wool and his mouth probably tasting of it from the alchohol.

" WHAT? "

" WHAT ARE YOU - oh! " Remembering that it wasn't cotton wool in his friends ears but. . . something else, he plucked at the tampons and relished the fact that Blaine squeaked and pressed himself further backwards as he realised what had just been in his ears. Wanting to save his voice from or for more shouting, Kurt awkwardly got back to his feet and cleared his very sleepy throat.

" Why don't. . . um, we both get dressed and er talk about this? Downstairs? " Kurt blundered over his words, just wanting to get them out. God this was awkward as hell. Apparently Blaine thought so to, numbly nodding his head as he watched Kurt shuffle out of the bathroom before making a sprint back to the bedroom. Blaine watched him go sadly. There goes his aspirin, he thought miserably, turning back to the toilet to retch once more before wiping his mouth on a nearby towel, thinking that he could pay it back later. It wasn't too much of a deal anyway.

Then he spotted a familiar pair of sweats that had fallen out of Kurts duvet-and-possibly-actually-alive-laundrette. Carefully getting into them, he swallowed dryly as he realised that these were _his_ sweat-pants.

_That_ was a big deal.

Flushing the toilet, splashing himself with water in the face and finally shuddering, he turned to the door with a deep breath. Time for ' The Talk '.


	3. Coffee, cafiene and silence

**Part three! Reviews are loved like kisses! :D**

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" So. "

" So. "

" Do you um, know? About. . . about why exactly we're, um, " _Just kill me now!_ _Please! _Since when had it gotten so awkward to talk to his best friend? It wasn't like they hadn't been found in the same bed before. It had become one of those things that just happen. Like, if they were watching a movie and it got late they'd just both collapse on the same bed. Sometimes it was a little strange, waking up with Blaine - who Kurt was secretly thinking was an octopus in his sleep - covering him entirely. In those situations, it had been easy to just sort of . . . brush it off, take it in their stride. Like, hey! We're best friends! It happens! But this was something entirely different.

It was one thing falling asleep with your best friend and entirely aware of it. It was another to wake up naked, not knowing what happened the night before and your best friend in his boxers in the bathroom who didn't how he'd got there either. It was like some messed CSI episode. Hence the now two now-this-is-very-awkward-best-friends sitting opposite each other with crumpled clothes thrown on and coffee mugs clenched tightly between them. Kurt couldn't even look at Blaine! How could he? I mean, it was probable that they hadn't slept together. . . but, whilst he was pulling on a t-shirt, he realised that half of what he was wearing was most likely Blaine's. Tugging the duvet closer still, it was cold after all, he cleared his throat again. " I mean _you_ were erm doing . . . i-in the bathroom. " It was times like this, that Kurt loved Blaine and how he really looked like he was trying to remember something.

" Nope. " It was times like this that Kurt wanted to_ claw Blaine's face_ off in frustration.

" Ok. " Voice strained, Kurt watched as Blaine took another gulp of coffee. God, they must look awful. " Can you remember anything? Like, at all? "

Another gulp of coffee. Was he drinking it? Or inhaling it? " Nope. " Stupid duck.

" That's not really helping anything then is it! " Kurt finally snapped, lashing some of his own coffee back, silently making it into a competition.

" Well, can you remember anything? " Blaine fired back, narrowing his sleepy eyes in on his best friends angered face.

Kurt scowled and attempted to burn a hole in the table with his eyes alone. " . . . no. "

Sighing frustratedly, Blaine pushed back from the table and tipped the dregs of remaining coffee into the sink before turning round slowly to lean on the counter. His spine was sore, and though it could mean something else, he blamed it on sleeping funny on the bathroom floor. The two stayed in silence, the only sound a faint ticking of a clock and Kurt slurping at his drink. A low murmur of ' _God I_ love_ caffeine Everyone should just have caffeine and never drink alcohol! If I was a supervillan I would totally be called the ' caf-fiend ' because that's just amazing. Caffeine instead of alcohol kids! Then I wouldn't be in this situation. Nobody would! Then life would be better. . ._ ' rambled on until Blaine moved back towards his seat to look evenly, if slightly confused, at Kurt who avoided his gaze completely, finding his toes suddenly extremely interesting.

Another beat of silenced passed before both of them locked gazes and rambled at the same time -

" So did you - "

" Did we sleep together? "


	4. Oh

" Oh. "

" Oh indeed. " Kurt managed, unsteadily getting to his feet for another cup of very much needed coffee. He could feel the blank stare of Blaines gaze on his back, and almost wanted to burst into tears. _Was it really that bad? Does he know what happened and I interrupted him and now I look like a fool? What if I jumped to entirely wrong conclusions? Maybe we were just wrestling or something? Yes, because _all_ wrestling is done _naked_ Kurt. Stupid._

xxx

" Oh. "

Blaine grip tighter onto the coffee cup in shock, but not quite horror. Because -_ what the hell? I mean, it would explain why he's shirtless and with a duvet wrapped up all over him, and possibly- is that a hickey he's hiding there? Is that why I woke up in my boxers? Or why I'm sore? Or - _Oh. Oh_. Is that why I'm checking out Kurt's ass right now? _

Whipping his gaze away like he'd been scolded, Blaine shakily drew another gulp of coffee. Really, he was really awake now but maybe the coffee could keep up the pretence of a clueless puppy for even longer. Tired Blaine is a very clueless Blaine. Tired Blaine almost took off through a balcony window because he, quote, ' wanted to see Netherland to see how the fairies managed to keep their dogs alive when there is no snow in the Artic '.

But Blaine, even a tired clueless one, couldn't use Netherland as an excuse any longer. Because honestly? How could anything explain why he and Kurt, don't look, both woke up with a fair amount of skin showing, don't_ look_, or why there was a slow pain creeping up his spine, which he couldn't really blame on ' lying funny ' now.

Realising that Kurt was waiting for an answer, his mouth made a wierd flailing movement as he tried to pull together a sentence. How did Kurt want him to act? Sad? Angry? Happy? Annoyed? Does he want me to storm out? All these emotions and yet. . . silence. What could he say to that? What could he say except,

" Oh. "

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_**Next time...**_

How could they just _sit_ there. Like this was _normal_? Did they even care that he'd woken up in a strange bed with his best friend? Anger gradually rising, he clenched his fists under the table then moved them to the tables edge. " Did you even hear that? Did you know? Was this _your_ idea? Did you make me sleep with him? Because that was not _funny_! "


	5. Boys be boys

**SORRY FOR THE DELAY. ENJOY, REVIEW, SUGGESTIONS?**

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" C'mon c'mon, pick u - ah! "

" Heey lover-boy! What brings thi - "

" Wes, David I can hear you breathing I know your there, I seriously need your help. Like, right now. "

" Be at the Lima Bean in ten minutes. " The line disconnected before any more questions could be asked, or the pair could hear Blaines huge sigh of relief.

xxx

" So, " Conducted Wes, sliding into the far right seat of a small rounded table. David was to his left and mirrored the same worried expression as his friend did. Both sipped at their coffees nervously before Wes continued. " What brings this sudden meeting? Not another impromptu serenade is it? "

" What? No! No. _No_. " Blaine grimaced, as if even the thought of Jeremiah in this situation was horrendous. His grip clenched tighter around the second coffee cup that morning. Or afternoon really. After a briefly awkward wave at Kurt as they both left the house to go their separate ways, he'd phoned the two people he knew he could rely on not to spill the beans on anything. Well, except his homework. He still hadn't managed to get those Heinz bean orange stains out of his music homework yet. Another grimace. " But I-I um, I kinda woke up next to Kurt an - "

But suddenly he was cut off as Wes whooped and David slumped back dramatically in his chair with an eye-roll. " Seriously dude? " He huffed, drawing out his wallet with his nose wrinkled as he passed a handful of notes over to a grinning smug Wes, who was literally clapping his hands gleefully. " You couldn't have laid off the sex for _one_ more week? "

" Are you kidding? Of course he couldn't! They are like two sexually repressed hormonal rabbits! One more week and they would have died from heat exhaustion! " Still smiling, he proceeded to count the notes as David glared side-ways at him. " So what's the problem? Trouble in the sack? " They both stopped as they realised that Blaine had completely shut off. Like, no, really. His mouth was wide open and his eyes crinkled in confusion. Glancing warily at each other then back to him, David reached up to snap his fingers in front of Blaines face. What was up with him?

" No! No! I didn't sleep with him! Well - I mean - "

" Out with it, boy. "

" We both woke up in our boxers. I was in the bathroom and he kinda stumbled in. We went downstairs to talk about it then he thought we'd slept together. But I can't remember any of it! At all! " Slumping forwards in frustration, Blaine let out a strangled gurgle as David frowned and Wes looked thoughtful.

" So, you're saying you want your first time with him to be special and not a moment of alcohol? " Rubbing his chin as if he had a beard, Wes nodded as he thought it was a suitable answer. Slumped Blaine groaned loudly, causing an elderly lady to glance over at them wide wide eyes. Like an owl almost. Huh.

" No! " He snapped, barely raising his head to glare at Wes. " I mean, we're not even dating! It would have been horrible to have - um - " Both of his companions were shocked to see a pink blush rising on their friends cheeks as he cleared his throat nervously. This was the boy who basically gave Kurt the sex talk. Via his _Dad_ no less.

" Taken his virginity and left him begging for more? " Wes provided blankly. Blaines mouth dropped open into a perfect ' O ' shape, whilst David hid his smug grin from behind the rim of his coffee cup. Turning to Wes, he opened up his palm as if to say ' _pay up_ '. Wes frowned and raised his eyebrow up at the hand.

" Pay up Wesley! There is no way he would have done the deed and still be nervous about saying the word virginity. " Beaming as Wes grumbled and handed back the fiver, he cleared his throat and turned back to Blaine who seemed to be far off in the distance. " Hey, dude, still with us? " No reply. Glancing at Wes, David reached round to slap Blaine in the face. That brought him back pretty quick I'll tell you.

" Hey! "

" Earth to lover-boy! "

" I am not a lover-boy. " Grumbled Blaine huffily, folding his arms and glaring at his two now _ex_-best-friends.

" We have a reason to see you as well, " David breezed on as if Blaine hadn't spoken. " Wes' has got a little bit of trouble picking out what to wear to see a certain someone this evening and really needs your help. "

" This sounds like a distraction method. " Was Blaines reply, glaring sternly as Wes who was suddenly the picture of innocence. Head tilted and everything.

" Take it or leave it, " David shrugged, reaching down to grab his coat as his comrade did the same. Turning back, they saw Blaine hopping up to follow them out the door, draining the last of his coffee like it was his life-line. Which, in some ways, perhaps it was.

xxx


End file.
